Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
