I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
