omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
