I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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