im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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