I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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