Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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