Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love you. Go after that dick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
