i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
