Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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