There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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