we're blogging at a bar
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
