Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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