I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
