Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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