On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
