For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize