Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
