Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
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I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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