Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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