i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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