Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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