I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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