Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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