the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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