Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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