At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
