YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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