Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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