i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
