also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
