R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
4 words: hood of his car
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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