theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
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whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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