My hand turned me down
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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