He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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