forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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