we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
