for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize