I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
