Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
