Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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