can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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