dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
