Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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