Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
