Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
