so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
