I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
