I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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