Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
