Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
