well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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