I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
barbara walters just said penis...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just crazy horny about you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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