guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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