guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
