on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
